Rule #16 Just Shut Up!

My mother told me to never tell anyone to shut up. In fact, when I was growing up “shut up” ranked up there with the “F” word. It was a doozy. However, I cannot think of one of the more impactful forms of communication than to just merely shut up. In a world where no one seems to be willing to shut their mouth I say try it. Here are a couple reasons why.

I used to own real estate brokerages. As such negotiations were a key part of my trade. I found one of the single greatest techniques in a negotiation was to just go silent. It’s truly amazing. People hate silence in a conversation. Their discomfort will cause them to babble on and on. Before long, if you have the discipline, they will spill the beans as to just what their breaking point is.

I also think it’s a good way to make a point. Some people are just insufferably awful at conversation. They are lazy. They are happy to let you or I just carry the conversation. This really gets in my crawl. For the record, stay away from my crawl. I don’t wan you there. And don’t even think to put a bur under my saddle either. These two things both rank up there with being a lazy conversationalist. If you put a bur in my saddle that finds its way to my crawl, well then we really have problems!

I once knew a guy who would call, and then he would proceed to just sit silent. What would I do? I’d babble. I’d do all the talking for both of us. Then one day I decided no more. I determined to just sit in silence. He could carry the ball for a while. It was so awkward. We literally just sat in silence after we had exchanged pleasntries.

I also used to be the guy at a party who in the middle of a crowd decided it was my job to make sure there were no awkward silences. The worst is when everyone else leaves and you’re just left with that one silent Cal. I used to think I had to ask this bad mannered goof a million questions about his life just to fill the silence. Not anymore. I will just look away and enjoy the silence like Simon and Garfunkel. In fact, if you find yourself in this situation take charge. Just sing, “Hello darkness my old friend…” to yourself and keep quiet. Take control of the situation quietly.

Resolve to shut up. Your Mom won’t like you telling others to do it, but chances are she’ll welcome your new tight lipped communication exercise. Try it when you’re on the phone with her. Chances are she’ll converse with herself for the bulk of the conversation. Enjoy the show.

You rule!

Jason