"Building Family Bonds: The Power of Holiday Traditions"

I just got a call from my youngest daughter. She was upset because someone was trying to get her to change her Thanksgiving plans.

“Dad! Can you believe that? You know how I am about our traditions!”

I smiled, basking in the warmth that filled my heart. Her words were music to my ears.

Want to know how to hold a family together in this crazy, fast-paced world? Well, I don’t have all the answers. Heck, I’ve even been through a divorce. But guess what? My daughters will still be with me for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

How did I manage that? Did I pull off some crazy Machiavellian scheme? Did I fill their heads with reasons why their mother wasn’t the right parent to spend the holidays with? Did I resort to the big “G”? Anyone with a family knows what that is—guilt. Guilt can be a very effective tool for getting kids to do what you want.

Quite the opposite. I refuse to be that parent. My girls are adults now and will soon navigate the world of in-laws and all the complexities that come with it. I won’t be the parent who causes holiday stress. I’m a bona fide Christmas nut who just wants a holly, jolly family around me.

So how did I do it? In a word: traditions.

Since my girls were very young, I’ve made a big deal about the holidays. Every Christmas, I’ve morphed into my own version of Clark Griswold. Thanksgiving always begins with getting up early to make sure the Macy’s Parade is on.

Thanks to TNT, Ralphie, Randy, and Flick are on repeat every Christmas morning. And every year, I give each of my daughters a “Daddy Gift.”

What’s a Daddy Gift? It’s a gift that has nothing to do with price. It could be homemade, $5, or $1,000 (though rarely). It’s something personal that shows I know what they’re into and what matters to them. Sometimes, it reflects an inside joke we share.

For example, my oldest daughter and I love The Office. So, when I saw a little music box on Instagram that plays The Office theme song, I had to get it. It was a hit—and I think I paid $27 for it.

Abby, on the other hand, loves tea cups. Every year, she gets a new one or a gift featuring her favorite cartoon character—Charlie Brown.

I’ve written and talked about this often on my podcast, The Jason Wright Show: one of the single most important things that keeps my wife and me close is our shared rituals and traditions. If she ever left me (not a concern!), she’d probably drive her next husband crazy trying to re-implement all of them.

Truthfully, my wife and I have the kind of relationship that makes some people roll their eyes—but I’m not apologizing for it.

As for my girls’ mom? Thanks to the grace and generosity of my wife, even she has occasionally shared meals with us. She was never that into our traditions, but now that our family looks different, those traditions still create opportunities for connection—even for her.

I know all of this might sound a little unconventional, but here’s the bottom line: create traditions.

Right now, we’re living in what we’ll one day call “the good old days.” This is it. These are them. Make them count.

Have a wonderful holiday season!