Rule#57 "Don't Worry Yourself With Things You Cannot Change."
It’s amazing I feel the need to write such an obvious entry. Yet daily I’m bombarded with friends, family and neighbors wringing their hands in fear and frustration. It seems most of their greatest fears, worries and anxieties are related to things they cannot change or impact.
Never mind they may still be holding on to bitterness and anger from years past. Never mind they haven’t read a book and remained ignorant to so much awesomeness life offers for the better part of their lives. Never mind they haven’t put in so much as 2 minutes of charitable service in decades. No. Don’t worry about any of that. Though the life they manage and have control over is in complete chaos, they worry about that part of life they have not and ounce of real impact on. Why?
They are the people who listen to political commentators. I’m a recovering listener myself. I need to research the neurochemical released as a result of hearing what you already know only to piss you off and repeating this cycle daily. There’s something there. Can it possibly be dopamine? Is it an endorphin? Surely not. Yet day in and day out people tune in to be pissed off. Here’s what’s really odd. Most of us watch T.V. in a house much larger than the ones we played in owned by our grandparents. We have three times the amount of food they had. I remember my “Gran” who was the best cook I ever knew had nothing more than two small cabinets to hold everything she used to cook. Oh, and everything was cooked from scratch. We watch MSNBC or Fox News on a T.V. the size of a pool table in an air conditioned room. We enjoy a much longer and active life than at any other time in history. Yet we’re all so anxious and fearful not to mentioned ticked off. It’s a real shame.
I’m not saying there’s nothing to worry about. There is. The problem is worrying about them will solve nothing-only doing can do that. Therefore, if the worry pops up either do something that can directly impact it or stop worrying and find something to be grateful for that replaces the worry. My whole premise for the Vitruvian Project I started this year is to do just that. I want to first improve every area of my life to the maximum. My hope is in doing so the fruit of that labor will spill over to my fellow man. I want to get me “right” before trying to go out and right the world.
I’ll read a book or hug my wife. I’ll call my daughters or count my blessings. These are things I can do. I’ll learn to control my temper and try to understand people better. I watch little to no T.V. I read far more history than current events. I find bliss in an amazing cup of coffee. I try my best to refrain from posting anything negative on social media. When I’m tempted I ask myself, “How does this make for a happier society?” That’s usually enough to let it go. The entire “Twitter-verse” doesn’t need to learn my latest rub.
Remember these truths:
There’s nothing new under the sun
“Our greatest fears lie in anticipation.”-Balzac
YOU get to decide what YOU worry about
I don’t have it all figured out, but I can tell you this-focusing on getting my own house in order and keeping it that way has proven much more productive than trying to get the rest of the world in order.
You rule!