The late consultant Clayton Christensen came up with a revolutionary way to look at product development. In an effort to understand what made companies successful he conceived of the notion executives should be asking, “What job would consumers want to hire a product to do?” This was one aspect of his “disruptive innovation,” which I first learned of in business school through his book, “The Innovator's Dilemma.”

In his book, “How Will You Measure Your Life,” he applies his groundbreaking philosophy to people such as family members. For example as a father I must ask myself, “What job have I been hired to do for my daughter or spouse or father or mother?” 

When I first evaluated my own relationships like this it gave me pause. My natural instinct, and I don’t think I’m alone, is to allow my actions to be driven based on my expected outcome and how that outcome will impact my life and feelings.. However, that has it all wrong. I was put on this earth with a job to do as a husband and father and son and friend. 

With my daughters regardless of how much they piss me off, disappoint me, make bad decisions, I’ve been hired to love them unconditionally. I’ve been hired to never give up on them. I’ve been hired to take whatever wisdom through life experiences I have and share them with them in hopes of shaping them into strong independent women.

I’ve been hired to be Jemilynn’s husband and love her unconditionally. I’ve been hired to support her, be her biggest cheerleader and never forsake her. This is what I have been “hired” to do. I could easily take my wedding vows to be a job description could I not?

The wonderful thing about this approach is it makes our actions fully focused on the person in question. It’s no longer about us. This is not to say I’ve mastered this at all. When Rylan or Abby screw up or pursue actions I disagree with they are certainly less likely to hear from me. That’s wrong. However, I’m working on it. 

I’m most terrible with this as a son. I’ve had some rather trying moments with my parents. As such I have acted in kind. I’ve too often let my hurt determine how well I perform the “job” I’ve been hired to do as their son. Shame on me for that. Good thing they don’t read my blog or I may never hear the end of that last sentence! 

I know some will read this and gasp at the idea of even using words like “job” or “work” when referring to relationships. To them I say, good luck.

You rule!

Jason