Rule #27 “Be God-like When You Eat.”

My mouth waters. The gauchos with their spears of meats circle the dining room meticulously shaving off pieces for guests one by one. They walk in at a hurried pace, stop, slice, gorge, repeat. This is a familiar scene for my daughters and I. It’s Fogo De Chao. We love “Fogo” as we refer to it in our family. This has become our traditional birthday spot. First, it was mine. Then my oldest daughter who happens to share the same birthday (at $60 per head that’s a nice break) found an affinity for a protein packed birthday celebration. Now my youngest daughter is in on it as well. We arrive. Stop, slice, gorge, repeat. We conquer. We walk out stuffed. 

There’s something we Americans in particular love about food. Let me re-phrase. There is something we Americans love about large quantities of food. We like to have all the things we like and lots of it. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing or a good thing. It’s just a thing. This “want” and appetite we have for culinary delights offers an incredible opportunity to build power and self control. Stoic philosopher Epictetus suggests it can make us god-like even. Wow! To be god-like, that’s a rather lofty ambition. 

Here’s how Epictetus describes the proper consumption of things others pursue with vigor:

Remember that in life you ought to behave as at a banquet. Suppose that something is carried round and is opposite to you. Stretch out your hand and take a portion with decency. Suppose that it passes by you. Do not detain it. Suppose that it has not yet come to you. Do not send your desire forward to it., but wait till it is opposite to you. Do so with respect to children, so with respect to a wife so with respect to magisterial offices, so with respect to wealth, and you will be some time a worthy partner of the banquets of the gods. But if you take note of the things which are set before you, and even despise them, then you will be not only a fellow-banquette with the gods, but also a partner with them in power. 

This does not mean we are to wave the gaucho away when he brings our meat. It suggests we are to take a portion until we are satisfied and then be able to say, “no thank you.” We are able to go to a promotional event and tell ourselves that just because the crappy pastries are free doesn’t mean we have to eat them.

We refuse to gorge ourselves. It’s looking up a $100,000 sports car and being able to say, “Well, if you want to give it to me, fine. I’ll take it.” However, you refuse to work yourself to the bone, sacrifice time with your children, not pour into your relationship with your spouse all so you can grab enough cash to buy a silly car. 

I believe Epictetus is telling us to live within our means. I believe he is also telling us not to strain so hard for vain pursuits be it material items, delicacies or what have you. Let our cravings come second to our desire to live a tranquil life of discipline and contentment. I am finding more and more that it is a much greater joy to not desire anything at all than to desire and acquire it. The former makes for a much more peaceful life.

Oh, and if you see me at Fogo stuffing myself on my fourth basket of cheese rolls, please don’t judge. Just because one writes about a thing doesn’t mean one is good at a thing.

You rule!

Jason