Make Your Own Rules #4

Rule: Be Nice

Rule Maker: “Dalton” Legendary Cooler of the Double Deuce

Learn More About the Rule: Road House 3 Rules

It’s really as simple as the entry reads. I still scratch my head wondering how the Academy missed the art that was “Road House.” It was a cinematic masterpiece of the highest order. My father to this day quotes “Dalton” played by Patrick Swayze like others quote Socrates or Plato. Upon meeting his team of bouncers for the first time Dalton gives his team three simple rules. It’s the third I want to focus on. The rule is, be nice. While this seems so terribly obvious, I’d like to describe why I think there is so much value in just being nice.

First, it leaves no offense to be credited to you. Being nice leaves you with no regrets. It also prevents a would be adversary the ability to land a punch. I think when being insulted or wronged if I can remain nice I leave the offender simply whaling at the wind. Buda once said, “If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong? If you simply refuse the insult, it doesn’t belong to you. It just merely languishes in the ether rendered useless. I think so few people realize the power they have in this regard. No one can “offend” you. Offense only comes when you give power to the thought or action and allow it to become an offense.

If you take on the insult and respond in kind several things have happened. First, you have shown your ego at work. The one and only reason an insult would ever upset you is because of pride. Ponder that for a moment. Is there any other reason for being insulted beyond the damage it brings to our pride? Pride should be extinguished every time it rears its ugly head. Kill it. Drown it. Abolish it. Secondly, you give away all your power. You have let the actions of another dictate your behavior. This is like cheating on your spouse for revenge for her cheating on you. Did you really hurt her? Did your infidelity take away hers? Nope. Only now you have damaged your own character. It’s like the old saying that hanging on to bitterness is like drinking poison hoping the other person dies. It doesn’t work.

Resolve to be nice. It will make you happier. I try now to greet everyone with a smile. It’s amazing how much nicer this makes me, and in general I get a smile and nice behavior returned. This just makes my world a happier place. I suspect it will do the same for you.