Rule: Control the Space
Rule Maker: Viktor Frankl
Learn about the Rule: “Man’s Search for Meaning” By Viktor Frankl

I’m a rule follower. I don’t color outside the lines. I love rules. Rules bring clarity, and rules relieve me of having to think more than I actually want to. I’m the guy who always drives the speed limit because that’s the rule. You don’t generally look up to see flashing lights in your rearview mirror when you are following the rules. This just makes my life easier. With my obsession with rules I also like to make rules. Now I know this is very contradictory to the world we now inhabit. After all so much is about breaking the rules. I think at certain times breaking silly rules can be useful. However, if it’s your rule it’s not nearly as hard to color inside the lines.

Here’s an example. Society says as well as the neurons in your brain if someone wrongs you, you are supposed to get angry and maybe even take revenge. At a minimum you should let the party who has wronged you know they’ve done so. This might be merited. If you don’t do it, you very well may be enabling this person to be a complete jerk. You may be allowing them to think wronging you is acceptable, which it most certainly isn’t. However, this is a great time for rule development.

As I write this I just came from a meeting or rather what was supposed to be a meeting. I drove over 100 miles this morning to meet with someone. Yesterday I emailed and confirmed the meeting with the other party’s assistant. We were on. It was all good. I had this meeting on my calendar for nearly a month. I showed up about 40 minutes early thinking I would relax and catch up on email before going up to the meeting. When I checked, I had received an email from Mr. Blowoff’s assistant at 10:22 saying he would not be able to make our 11:00 a.m. meeting.

In this moment I had a chance to reflect and put into practice something I learned from Viktor Frankl. If you don’t know Viktor, I encourage you to meet him. He is the author of “Man’s Search for Meaning.” In this incredible classic Frankl takes us on an inside tour into the horrid concentration camp of Auschwitz. Frankl was a prisoner there and during that time he made notes on those who survived and those who did not. What he learned was the ones most likely to survive this horrific place were those who mastered their minds. The quote that stood out to me the most in this book was, “Between action and reaction is space.” That space between action and reaction is so very powerful. Those of us who can learn to master and control that space are truly in a place of victory.

On this day I decided to take control of that space. I refused to allow myself to be angry. I instead created a mental picture of the chasm between action and reaction and deliberately filled the space with thoughts of gratitude. I thought about my daughters. I thought about being an American. I thought about all the free time I now had. Most importantly I felt so empowered by the very notion that I had taken control of that space. It is MY space not Mr. Blowoff’s. I say what I do with that space not the universe or any of its inhabitants.

I encourage you to remember whether it’s something you see happening politically, personally, someone cuts you off while driving, someone hurls an insult at you, a bill comes you weren’t expecting, someone says you have the face of an elderly opossum or whatever the case may be you have the power to decide how you will react by controlling that space.